Indulgence

fantastic friends

Margaret Sangster from Sin of Omission
It's not the thing you do, dear, it's the things you leave undone that give you a bit of heartache at the setting of the sun.

Haven't been too much of a good friend as of late. I've been to involved in my own predicament that I haven't been available to my friends. That's the problem with being self-obsessed and self-centered -- the tendency is to only focus on your life when problems strike; when things aren't going your way. When everything is good, and there are clear horizons ahead, you have all the time in the world for everyone. But when things are not okay, then you retreat inside and want to take care of yourself but the tendency is towards moping and sulking.

That is why I was so very happy to have met up with Lance and DC last Friday. And, on an impulse, I invited Berna to go with us. I've been dying to hang out with her and realised she would be in good company with Lance and DC and I was happy and quite fortunate that she was available and willing. I don't usually mix friends, I hate that awkward moment when you start talking about people that are not within the same circles as some people in the group. I hate that. At the same time, DC and Lance are really good friends from a long time ago. And Berna has been a major, significant part of my life in 2 years that Lance and DC were not a part of. They are people from 2 different worlds in my life. There are things I'd want to talk about with Berna that I can't do with the 2 guys and vice versa. But there were not similarities with the three of them that I knew we could hack it. At the same time, I was pleasantly pleased to be able to put Berna in a sort of backseat and just observe me with other people. I'm different, I guess and it's great for me to actually show her what I'm like rather than hear it spoken from my mouth. Now, she doesn't have to take my word for it. She actually experienced it.

Happily, Lance brought a camera so we were able to have some actual footage of that crazy evening. I met up with Berna and Lance at Glorietta where we watched X-Men 3, The Last Stand (Berna for the first time, Lance and I for the second time). Then we went to Kitchen to meet up with DC and have a late dinner. We stayed in Kitchen the whole time and just chatted all night until Berna had to leave because she had an early call time the next day and Lance had to go to work.
DC and I then proceeded to Jay's place where we caught up and just had great conversation. I am always thankful for DC to always be so aware. With DC, I have this fantastic conversations that I would like to call "pedestrian philosophy." We don't exactly have the terminologies and the science of actually speaking philosophy, but we keep asking each other questions and stating examples about how we see life and the world and we break down the exact nature of things when we converse. At the end of this amazing conversations I have with DC, I always end up enjoying my life more. I always end up with a big smile on my face and a better understanding of myself and of DC, as well. I end up having to articulate my beliefs of how I see things, things I never bothered thinking aloud before -- I did it because I knew it was right for me, but I never had to think about the whys or try to articulate it. And when you articulate it, put it to words, it makes more sense than knowing it on an instinctive level. It is so satisfying to have conversations with DC.

DC eventually left when the sun rose and I slept at Jay's. I then woke up, went home to change and then go to Alabang for a semi-family reunion and then back home to get my things and change and then went to Chicane.

Chicane was more of a concert than a rave but it was perfectly fine. Chicane is an amazing composer and I like his songs and I had a grand time but the location was lousy. The place was extremely hot and completely uncomfortable because of it. The speakers were bad at the first 30 minutes of Chicane's set. I saw some people I wish I didn't see and saw some people I'm very glad to have seen.

Now, things are looking pretty good. Some things were thrown my way and instead of taking them, I chose to be wiser and told them I'd think about it and I really did. And so I might not be in a very good place now, I'm going to be very soon. I've been working hard, I've been getting rest, I've been figuring out what I need and what works for me. I'm cementing an image of myself that I want and working slowly to make it stable and not to break it again, like I always seem to do.

I have a calm and serene feeling right now. I wish it would remain this whole week and it because something burning bright with passion and excitement by next week. I've been sulking and moping for a little too long now.

posted by wanggo @ 2:05 AM