Indulgence

no boxes

Sinead O'Connor from What Does Not Belong to Me
Take back the rage you gave me
Take back the hatred you gave me for me
Take back the anger that nearly killed me
Take back what doesn't belong to me

Just because I work on Sundays and at the oddest hours of any day doesn't mean I am deserving of pity. Just because I work 6 days a week, at times, doesn't mean I'm a workaholic. Just because I like working doesn't mean I'm all about work. I'm 26 years old, I think I'm too old to be bullied. If I didn't like it, I wouldn't be doing it. This is the life I chose to lead. I think I'm pretty happy, despite all circumstances, doing what I do.

Just because I go to clubs and dance for 5 hours straight doesn't mean I'm on drugs. Stop asking me what I'm on, I'm not on anything. You don't have to be drunk or high to enjoy going out. Don't use your standards on me or on anyone for that matter. It just won't work. Some people can enjoy just dancing.

Just because I like dressing up and looking good doesn't mean you get touching privileges. Talk to me, try and pick me up, if you can but don't squeeze my ass or hug me or tweak my nipples or I'll bite your head off and spit it out in the ditch.

Just because I like reading doesn't mean I'm a nerd.

Just because I'm getting into sports doesn't mean I'm stupid or I'm going into the health craze.

Just because I go to VTRs and try to get modeling gigs doesn't make me vapid.

Just because I am into creative writing and into art and literary and art criticism doesn't mean I'm pretensious.

Just because I can be shallow doesn't mean I can't be deep and just because I can talk about existentialism, Russian formalism and post-colonial theory doesn't mean I can't be shallow, either.

Just because I'm self-absorbed and arrogant doesn't mean I can't care for people.

Just because English is my first language and I watch art films and would like to put pomelos on my salad doesn't mean I'm an ellitist and a snob. I am an ellitist and a snob but those are not the symptoms. It's merely coincidental.

Just because I am sexually liberated doesn't mean I'm a player. I maybe a slut but I'm no player. I've always been faithful to my lovers and honest. And just because I like sex doesn't mean I'm shallow or one-track minded or evil.

Just because I took a lot of drugs in my past doesn't mean I'm an addict and I've ruined my life.

Just because I'm not religious doesn't mean I'm not spiritual.

Just because I talk to you doesn't mean I like you and vice-versa; just because I don't talk to you doesn't mean I don't like you.

Just because I'm whiny and complain a lot doesn't mean I'm not strong; and just because I sometimes seem to have it all together that it means I never falter, that I don't break.

Just because I respect you doesn't mean I like you and just because I like you doesn't mean I respect you. It's two different things entirely.

Just because I wanted you then doesn't mean I want you now and just because I don't want you now doesn't mean I won't want you in the future.

Just because I'm not there doesn't mean I don't want to be there and just because I'm somewhere doesn't mean I want to be there.

What you see is only what you see; there are infinite truths and possibilities that you cannot fathom at any one given time. It's okay to be judgmental, but it's a bad thing to act on it when you don't know the whole truth. Truth is, you will never be able to grasp anything in its entirety, because even if you do have all the information, by the time you get it, your subject has already undergone some changes. Nothing stays the same.

Don't put anyone in a box. Don't put me in a box.

The only person I know who willingly allowed people to put him in a box was Houdini, and he did this to get out of the box he was put in.

The other people I know who are put in boxes are already dead. They can no longer change and you can put them in that box and grasp the entirety of their being because they can't add anymore to their existence; they can no longer surprise you.

But even we know that isn't entirely true, either.

posted by wanggo @ 6:14 AM