Indulgence

the benefits of remembering when you got your ass kicked

Buddha
There is only now.

My cousin makes the most unbelievable dishes. He's a true artist in the kitchen. For Sunday Family Day yesterday, we decided on doing gourmet sandwiches. I got off easy, I was to bring the chips. My brother was going to make potato salad and my cousin, Inigo (a real chef extraordinaire) was to make the sandwiches. So, of course, I wasn't going to buy any normal potato chips, right? I bought the expensive delicious Ruffles and Lays. It was barely touched. Inigo's lovely, lovely girlfriend Karla made a fantastic cheese dip for crackers and my cousin Yciar brought salsichon. Excellent appetizers. Then the crabstick sandwhich came out. With cucumbers, some leafy thing like lettuce (I think), egg and crabsticks on really, really good bread (hard crust, soft bread -- delicious!) we ate greedily and with much enjoyment. The taste was so refreshing. It surprised the taste buds and made it alive. Then Datu's potato salad was great, nothing too strong that it didn't clash with the sandwiches. Amazing. Too bad he doesn't remember how to make it. Then the roast beef sandwiches came out and it had romano cheese, mushrooms (I think they were Porcini mushrooms) and arugula. Amazing! It was so good. Perfect.

Great company, great food, great ambience (we were hanging out at Karla's place rather than our condo as it usually is) and we just had a grand time.

I went home and, after such a wonderful time with my family, I found myself at the computer checking my e-mails. Then, later on, I dscovered I had already disconnected from the internet and I was going through my file CDs and I was looking for something that I don't remember. Instead, I found old letters, e-mails that I had kept. There was one e-mail were I had written to my parents and it was such a powerful and well-written letter (so well-written, I was shocked at myself; afterall, this was 3 years ago) and then my parent's response letters which got me teary-eyed.

And then, I found my brother's letter to me. It was his "reality check" letter to me. Something happened in the family 3 years ago which sort of brought everyone into high gear and emotions had flared and certain things got out of hand. One of the things that got out of hand, affected by such events, was me. My brother, Jubal, then proceeded to put me in my place. But not only did he put me in my place; he whipped me up into shape.

I think I was very resentful of that letter at the time but reading it now, I am not surprised at the ability of my brother to cut straight to the core; into the heart of the problem and forced me to deal with him and, by doing so, deal with the problem. It is an amazing letter, one written with such intelligence, wit, brilliance, everything. I wish I could put it here but that would put certain things to light which, though is of no consequence to me, is a family matter and will remain such.

But some of the strokes of genius were he would be both biting and humorous is such proof of his amazing writing skills, his command for the language, his intelligence and wisdom.

That was MY over-reaction. Allow me some insecurities, you aren't allowed to have them all...

I was laughing at that last night. I was going through heavy-drama and I was whining better and with more intensity than any character from Dawson's Creek or Beveryly Hills 90210. I have, after all, a PhD in whining and complaining and am the reigning drama queen of this generation. And at that time, I was certainly pulling no stops.

Jubal kicked my ass with a 5 page letter of unbelievable tough love. Amazing, amazing person. Driven to such nostalgia, I had to call him up in Bacolod and just talk to him.

In such cases, I can't wait to get to Bacolod on November. Can't wait to see the rest of my family and then December to spend real time with them; on Christmas, no less, when it really is important.

It won't be long now.

posted by wanggo @ 4:21 PM