Indulgence

2 kinds of people (and the third, less savory)

Marie Frank from Save a Little Love (written by Marie Frank and Jacob Eriksen)
I'll draw the curtains on a day gone by
I'll keep my shades on when I'm in bed at night
'Cause whenever I lay down my guard I find
I'm invaded by people who rob me blind

I have been blessed with a lovely group of friends who really like my company enough to help pitch in to make sure I get to go with them to Samar, on our group's outing. How can one argue with that? I've never been to Samar and I want to. What loveable people!

Considering the fact that I've gone to Boracay with all expenses paid for, pay anytime I can, last summer. And this is a different group of friends, mind you. They just wanted me to be there. Boracay won't be complete or as much fun without you, I was told.

It is so wonderful to be wanted, to be needed. I think about all those times, before, when I was left behind, for no real reason. I remember back in college, how my circle of friends stop showing up and seeing me because I graduated and worked in school and had my own office. They could never say why they never visited me or never hung out in my office, when it was more comfortable and more private than our organization's office. I even remember how one of them got sorta mad and told on me to an older friend in the circle. He came to me in the office and told me her thoughts which I quickly shot down. I have a job now, I can't just keep going to the Malate office to see them. They can, of course, come here and see me. But I don't know why they don't want to, no matter how many times I've offered. So don't tell me I've got a problem, it's them who do, I said. The message was quickly related to the person with the grievance and she decided to talk to me and she began to cry as she realised I wasn't avoiding them, it was they who avoided me. After a week, nothing happened. My old circle of friends continued with their lives, not passing by for me, not looking for me and not taking advantage of the fact that we had a great hang out in school. That benefit was picked up by Jay and Morx and company and a new chapter in my life began.

I guess some people just grow apart and I don't mind that. But what I couldn't stand was the fact that they tried to put the blame on me. I just want it on record -- they left me. A friend gate crashed a party I had with another friend, found his way to the hidden condominium unit and stood at the lobby and didn't move until he was brought up just to say his piece. He felt better knowing that his side was given a voice but it solved nothing, changed nothing. It didn't explain my former circle of friends' side at all. Just made them more infuriating -- trying desperately to say their piece but the point being, they still didn't make any effort to bridge the new gap that was formed by my graduating and my new responsibilities. I tried, told them to spend their time in my office, as students were perfectly allowed to. They refused.

What made things worse was that they had said somethings that made it appear that I moved away from them. It's called growing up, graduation, getting a job. Let's all adjust, right? I guess it was too much for them.

But that's okay. I moved on and I found a group of people who wanted me to be with them and no matter what situation I got myself into, they made an effort to see me and vice-versa. Wanting to see each other was a mutual thing.

Marie Frank from Save a Little Love (written by Marie Frank and Jacob Eriksen)
I won't be as generous as I was before
Too little left to go around once more
I've been blowing it off being far too kind
I just opened my heart and they bleed me dry
I'll save a little love for myself this time

Now someone I like is using me only when it is convenient to do so. But on an ordinary day, there is no attempt to spend time with me. Coffee? Forget it, person has better things to do but if the person needs company, especially when substances has been used and good company is really needed, boy! ain't I the one to call? Why do I bother? Why do I even bother?

And then there's the fantastic group of people who want me regardless of the situation. Jay, Rex, Che, Len, Morx, Naira and Dave and the rest of the gang; dinners in Makati, shopping, talking about the exciting beginning of a business and an industry we have always brushed up against and now they are throwing themselves in it. Growing up and discovering what this world has to offer for the youthful with so much energy and love of life.

And then the Planetzips crew, Cat, Paolo, Paulino, Amanda, Lors, Tals, Migui, Kage, Mikko, Tessa and the rest -- with our passion for poi dancing and spinning fire without batting an eyelash. Our love for adventure and travel, the beach and laughter. Growing up and discovering what this world has to offer for the youthful with so much energy and love of life.

Sometimes, I wonder why I even get myself into these stupid situations with people when the answer is so clear before me. I can be so dumb sometimes!

posted by wanggo @ 11:46 AM