Indulgence

Things that made me go "Hmmm..." today

Natalie Imbruglia from Sunlight (written by Natalie Imbruglia and Gary Clark)
Today we don't know who we are

Today, I arrived late at the bank. Couldn't wake up at 11am as I had planned because Dad left the air conditioner on. I had slept late the night before, but earlier than usual, because I had every intention to make it to the bank and deposit my check. I really need the cash to pay my brother. Nope, it didn't happen. Not this time. I got there and it was exactly 3pm and the bank just closed and they wouldn't sneak me in. Truth be told, I didn't even try, really. So their clock was 5 minutes earlier than mine. Can't argue with that. They follow their time, not mine.

So I stayed home and worked on some articles and had a very interesting chat with Raab, a friend of mine who is now living in Davao. Opened up an interesting alternative, which I didn't know existed. The type that made me go Hmmm... So of course, I went Hmmm... and a plan began brewing in my head. The plan only works if everything that was offered in the past 2 weeks pushes through. If it does, then the plan begins.

Had dinner with my Dad. It is his last night tonight and then, in about 30 minutes, I'll be taking him to the airport. It was brief and we didn't get to talk much like we usually do. He had a lot of work and I was barely at home. He sat me down during dinner and told me that he wanted to talk to me about my work ethic but couldn't because he had no right. He said that he was just as messed up and lost as I am now when he was my age. He was just worried about how little sleep I get to do and how scattered I've been, working on some many projects at the same time but then, he was just the same when he was 27 (of course, he thought I was still 23. I told him I was 27 and he was like shocked, mouth agape and wide-eyed). He wanted to talk to me about so many things that he felt needed some mature guidance but the truth of the matter is, he was just the same at my age. So what he did was he told me that I should just be patient, work it out and to take care of myself. If I keep digging I'll get there. If I keep working at it, something will give soon. I told him that it is usually me and he said, well, now I'm telling you not to give up this time.

Natalie Imbruglia from Sunlight (written by Natalie Imbruglia and Gary Clark)
Too many times we let the things we feel
Get in the way of letting us heal the wounds
That open in the dark

I decided to figure some things out on my own, texted the friend and ended up with more stuff that just seemed to baffle me. Called up Jay to get some bearings and unfortunately, I heard some things I didn't want to hear. Never ask questions you aren't prepared to hear the answers to, I always say. I should've listened to my own advice. Eventually, Morx heard the story and gave me a call so that he can give me a reality check; more like a reality slap, if you ask me. But I need those every now and then.

I just wanted it so badly, I guess and the mind works its wonders. That's what is so dangerous with a hyper-active imagination that is not limited by reality -- an imagination that can truly bend reality despite all the clues and hints towards a certain direction: you can just ignore all of that and still imagine it to be the way you want it to be. I can be my own worse enemy.

Happily enough, I was at Valle Verde 1 again, spinning fire with the Planetzips gang and had a marvelous time. This was the second straight night of zipping for us (3 consecutive nights for Paolo, Cat, Paulino and myself) and though I was physically tired, I am never emotionally or mentally tired to zip. In fact, for a moment, I totally forgot what was happening around me and I loved it. I was able to push myself to another level, I think, tonight and I got a compliment from Cat which really encouraged me to try harder and harder.

At this point, of all the work I've put out this year, zipping has been the most satisfactory. I got paid on time, the work in itself was just fantastic, the people I zip with are just so cool, the work was very much appreciated and I get to go to the most interesting of places for it. How lucky could I be, right? Now if only I could do it more often.

Natalie Imbruglia from That Day (written by Natalie Imbruglia and Patrick Leonard)
That day, that day
What a mess, what a marvel
We're all the same
And no one thinks so
And it's okay
And I'm small and I'm divine
And it's beautiful
And it's coming
And it's already here
And it's absolutely perfect

posted by wanggo @ 2:19 AM