Indulgence

living by the word

Carl Sandburg from Windsong
I love you, said the great mother.
I love you for what you are
Knowing so much what you are.

I've been thinking a lot about writing again. Not just the work writing that I do. I mean serious writing. Back to what I had first imagined for myself back when I was still in College, back in High School even.

Back then, I had dreams of becoming a novelist. One of those career writers who live by writing books and nothing more. Maybe occasionally teaching in-between fervent writing fevers. I thought I'd be spending a lot of my time living, walking around and hanging with friends until I find an interesting story and then BAM! I'd disappear for weeks just furiously typing away in my computer.

Later on, my love for film had taken over and I was going to be making movies and it became the sole purpose of my writing. I've been trying to break in since 2003. Script after script met roadblock after roadblock. I was running out of steam, ready to give up.

But I didn't. I kept pushing and fighting. I lost my way a bit but found myself back. And now, I'm here, trying it out and working hard in making it work. This is all I really want to do. Live life, collect and gather experience, hear everybody's story and then write.

And now, reading all these non-fiction books, I think I've found the genre that really suits me. Rather than have to throw away my own personal opinions and judgements, I use it as my own voice. I'm such an opinionanted son-of-a-bitch; I can't help but have an opinion. Why not let it be my voice?
And why can't I write books and stories and write film as well? Why can't I have it all?

I'm in a good place right now. I'm ready. I'm in fighting form. I want it all.

Picture of me reading in the beach at Calicoan, Samar taken by Paulino, June `06.

posted by wanggo @ 5:33 PM