Indulgence

Journal

as texted by my Dad
I shouldn't say bad stuff about illiterates... I should just write it.

I found myself opening my last journal and scanning through the empty pages -- things that would have been filled up by my thoughts and experiences of 2005 had I conitnued writing on it. I don't remember exactly why I stopped. It was becoming the same thing, page after page -- whine and complain about every little thing. Why so and so doesn't love me or why I can't seem to get such and such project to get on board. I was just so freakin' plain miserable that I was getting depressed having to write it all down day after day. Then there would be that one entry where things are okay and then it was another string of bad experiences. I was getting sick of it. And then I had this, my blog, so I didn't see the need to continue on paper.

But I picked up my old journal for a reason. I started writing in it again. Never one to keep my own secrets, I'm always finding some friend or family member to talk to and to let out whatever is in my head -- I've decided to try and start writing in my journal again. I want to see if I can start keeping my own secrets for myself. I'm probably going to fail but it's nice to think that I can try.

And anyway, there are some things I cannot write here and for that, I'm going back to writing in my journal. I've got a couple more empty ones just waiting to be written on. I've just got back from Australia. I got back with my friendship with Jay. I got the Planetzips people whose company I do so enjoy and have great memories with and I don't want to share them with anyone else but them. So many new things happening in my family and in my personal life. Stuff I would be putting on my journal uncensored; un-edited.

So I'm returning to my journal. Just wrote another entry again, after a year and half. My last entry was dated December 25, 2004. That was a long, long time ago. It's time to get back because you can't ever re-live the past and you can't learn from that which you don't remember. And it's good to remember.

posted by wanggo @ 3:45 PM