Indulgence

Saturn, the taskmaster planet

Fiona Apple from Extraordinary Machine (written by Fiona Apple)
If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it the road just rose up behind me
Be kind to me or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine

3 days of brainstorming... my brain is wracked; it's been ravaged and now it lays dry. I feel empty. I feel like a sponge, long dried and yet someone is still squeezing, looking for any semblance of moisture. Surprisingly, there are yet some drops that remain to fall. There is water yet in this shell of mine.

Jaypee found this on the internet. I don't know how it's done but it's amazing. And Jaypee, knowing me so well, put something that is very akin to my personality on the wall, of course, thankfully, he didn't put my number. But somehow, the words are very true. It's me all right, down to a tee. It's how I feel right now.

I found this on an astrology website talking about people who share the same sign with me.

Pisces who are single, but not attached to anyone in particular, should fare better in the love department. That's because over the past two years, Saturn, the taskmaster planet, asked you to sacrifice romance in favor of achieving other life goals. Saturn finally left the difficult position it held in your chart in July, and will not return to that spot for 29 years. Expect your romantic world to open up in magical ways you can't quite imagine.

Now how is it that that is exactly how I feel. And now, reading this recent development, I find myself frightened that a magical opened up world is not what I want for myself. For the past several years now, I've been living my life the way I have, without another person to consider (except for my ex, a 2 month speed bump, I must add) and now I'm suppose to expect a new person coming into my life. And this is suppose to make me happy?

I can just imagine the conflictedness that will be wracking upon my heart. But hey! If people are like planets -- they have seasons and they bear fruit at times and stay barren in others, then so be it. Accept and move on.

If anything, I'm used to adjusting to what the world throws at me...

posted by wanggo @ 12:16 AM