Indulgence

an apology to self

Jem from Just a Ride (written by Jem Griffiths and Mike Caren)
We breakdown, yeah, we breakdown
Don't you break down, just listen to me

It's just a ride, it's just a ride
No need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you all around
Sometimes you're up, sometime's your down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
Don't be scared now and dry your eyes
And don't forget enjoy the ride

Haven't slept yet. Have no plans of sleeping in the morning again and then waking up in the late afternoon. There's no point in wasting the day and being awake at night alone at home, writing or reading mails and blogs. Got my cup of coffee in my system and a will to stay awake until 8:30pm hits and then I'm off to bed. I'm going to call this an early night, if I can.

Been spending too much time crying over spilt milk (and with reference to my previous entry, crying is used metaphorically) and it's time to start doing something again. Not only have I lost someone and unable to grieve about it, I've lost 2 projects (the film projects), had 2 more put on hold and a play that's coming slowly. Thankfully, one project is still pushing through this week and that will open up opportunities for the next 2 or 3 weeks and a paycheck that was delayed but already earned.

I've been spending my time working on projects more personal to me, and ones that never promised monetary return. Some of the projects I was supposed to get into was supposed to be both fulfilling and financially rewarding; well, if not rewarding, at least I would be financially compensated enough to continue on with this kind of life. Apparently, they all got... uhm... complicated?

And with all the promise of good tidings from every corner, I did my best to make these predictions accurate and true. I worked my butt off! And just like the best laid plans of mice and men, one was chewed on by mice and the other was destroyed by men.

But this is not the time for griping, even though I do it so well. Time to get my sad, sorry ass out of the pit I dug up for myself and just continue to prod on. I'm beginning to sound like my self, 3 or 4 months back. I won't let that happen. I'll fail when there is no more strength in me to continue on. While I can still move my arms and legs, think and write, there is no time to sit down and mope.

posted by wanggo @ 10:28 AM