disconnected
Nelly Furtado from The Grass Is Green (written by Nelly Furtado and Mike Elizondo)Oh yeah the grass is green but it's not what it seems cuz when you think
You want it you just need it
I've been feeling a little disconnected lately. Well, it might have something to do with not having left the house since Sunday but I really needed some downtime. Everything has just been a rush of activity that past 2 years -- always having to be somewhere else at some particular time. The
past 3 days have been great since I didn't have to be anywhere at any particular time and that kind of gives me some breathing space.I've been watching movies, reading and doing some writing -- creative writing. I feel like I'm getting back to a sense of self that hasn't been denied but made to be just something to return when all of it was over. It was never going to be over unless I stopped it. An opportunity arose and I grabbed it and now that sense of self is returning. I'm returning to the me I wanted to be and that's a good thing. I won't deny that.
And since I quit from NMI, I spent 3 days of just meeting up with friends. That was great too, to have the time to be available for them and to spend time with them. And my family too. I've been here for my brother. That's wonderful, to me.
But now, been stuck in the house for 3 days, well not really stuck, but there has been no real impetus to step out, I'm kind of getting antsy. It's my quality of not being able to just sit still. I have to be constantly moving. I can't stay in one place for too long, it drives me nuts! I have to constantly be going from one place to the next. The experiences here have been bereft of any new experience. I need to put on some shoes and long pants and just go out; not out-out as in a bar or a club or anything like that, but just to have some fresh air and see people en masse. I caught myself working while I'm on-line in hopes of catching someone to chat with; maybe an old internet friend or something or someone from college or whatnot. I just need to blab and talk and whatever.
On the upside, I watched Gosford Park again last night and just marvelled at the superb acting, the fantastic script and the precision of Robert Altman's expert hand at directing. Inspiring, really.
posted by wanggo @ 5:52 PM
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