Indulgence

non-fiction

Peter Marshall
Lord, where we are wrong, make us willing to change; where we are right, make us easy to live with.

I've been reading a lot of non-fiction lately. The last 3 books I read were non-fiction -- The Devil in the White City, Kate Bush The Biography and Piece by Piece. I've become so fascinated with the lives of people who have really lived. Kate Bush and Tori Amos are people I really relate to; or more correctly, are people who relate to me and we've never met! But they have written songs that speak to me, console me or fire me up. They totally reach into me, inside me and then tear me apart and put me together again. In The Devil in the White City I am fascinated with the dark side of the story, the story of the serial killer Holmes (that's his name, if I'm not mistaken) and I am drawn to that which I cannot embrace -- that depravity and that feeling of how the world's laws and rules are beneath me. That aspect of the story chills me. I am also drawn to Burnham's desire to create something beautiful, grand, elegant and lasting; most importantly lasting. The World's Fair in Chicago may not have lasted long, but it's effects did.

All three books chronicle the amazing struggle of these extraordinary people. Both Tori Amos and Kate Bush had been playing the piano at such a young age. Both women composed music at a very early age. Tori Amos doesn't read music but she can play by ear. Kate Bush has never taken a real voice education and just learned proper breathing techniques. She pushed herself to raise her voice's range all by herself. Burnham, the lead architect for the Chicago's fair, was a businessman and an artist. He was a leader who was able to successfully put together a stunning, moving World's Fair in a matter of 3 years under great opposition and hardship. Even the serial killer Holmes was able to mesmerize, fool and swindle people throughout his life until the bitter end. These amazing people took what they were given and pushed it all the way to achieve great (and horrible) things.

I'm amazed by all this and have found myself quite taken by this literary form. I've taken classes with Marj Evasco and Luisa Aguilar-Carino-Igloria on the genre and I plan on returning to this kind of writing.

Do I feel that my life is interesting enough to write about? Do I feel that people would be interested in reading about me? I guess I do. At one point, having kept this blog for 2 years and have written on it constantly, I feel that I do have something to share. At one point, I realised, I do have something to say and I do see the world in a unique and interesting way. I may not have a unique life and many of the things I've done have been done by others, but maybe it is in the way I see it, the way I perceive the world and this experiences that may be the key to some point of... what? I don't know? Enlightenment? An answer to a question long asked? Maybe just connection.

I am so used to stripping myself bare all the time through the written word. I am so used to exposing my deepest fears and joys. I am always telling something about myself. Maybe I've turned it into some sort of skill or artform (which is basically the same thing, really). Maybe fiction is not my realm but that of reality.

I'm excited to see what comes out.

posted by wanggo @ 1:30 PM