It Was Not Vague (It Just Won't Be Talked About)
Roisin Murphy from
Ramalama (Bang Bang) (written by Roisin Murphy and Matthew Herbert)Can the body close the mind down?It was an unusual day. There was something that wasn't allowed. There was a grin, a smile, a lie. Shades were used to hide the lying eyes. There was a convincing performance. There were things that walked right through. But it was okay. It was all okay. For the first time in my life, I was a Jedi and I was quite good with the Jedi mind-tricks.
Drink. Drink. Drink. Smoke and smoke and smoke. There was dancing and zipping. There was a pool. There were people jumping into a pool. There was something that was left behind. There was something that was brought along. There was a kiss somewhere where no one could see. It was a good kiss.
There was a lot of smiling. There was a lot of genuine smiling. There was a lot of posing. There was a lot of beckoning, but not with hands but eyes. There was a lot of ignoring happening too. But it was great.
It was an afternoon that became a night. It was filled with beauty and happiness. It was filled with loud music and dancing. There was drinking. It was a Sunday.
There was good company. There was excitement and energy. The feeling was electrifying. The feeling lasted until the next morning. It was far over and done with but it could still be felt.
They were looking. I know they were. And it felt fabulous.
Getting Back to Normal
Jonathan Swift
We have just enough religion to make us hate but not enough to make us love one another.Sometimes it's hard to believe in something good when you're down in the dumps and trying to get back on your feet. These days, every moment I get to have a chance to get into the clear some large heavy object lands on my head and knocks me for a loop and I wake up a day later and finding that things have just gotten worse.
I'm such a severe and extreme person, it would be great if I could just learn to relax and not think so much. I just wished people just gave me time to get back on my feet and I can have a chance to go back to normal.
I'm tired and truth is, quite angry but I refuse to be. That's where great friendships come in. Yesterday, I was having a really bad day and I called up my bestfriend and he was having a really bad day as well and so off we went to have dinner and I had 2 and a half beers (got a little drunk) but after 15 minutes of mouthing off my angst I was fine and in good spirits. He, on the other hand, was getting through some stuff and I was just glad to be there to help, to listen, to offer my support and whatever good energy I could give.
What I would not be able to do without the help of my friends. This, the worst year of my life, would have forced me to do the unthinkable, if it were not for the precious life-saving good energy of my friends. I'd hate to say it but this time round, family wasn't the people I could run to. Some of them were the problem, and the ones who could help were far away or had bigger problems of their own.
There's a time in your life when you have to grow up and just be on your own. I was there, I failed and ran back home. I'm thinking of doing it again but I have got to be smarter about this because when I leave, I don't ever want to run back. I want to be on my own, strong, secured, assured. Everything is there, I can see it. I just have to fix up this messed up life I've got right now. It's all paper work really.
Fight Club doesn't sound like such a bad idea after all. Ha Ha Ha
Sorry if I haven't been writing here often. I've been finding my
multiply blog much easier and more convenient to write on. You can still check up my mundane thoughts
there. On the other hand, my concept blog
modern everyday gods is taking slower than I thought. I think it is a good concept and I like what I've written so far but the concept itself has become the problem. I have to find a parrallel story or myth to base my writing on. But I'm not letting go of it. I like it. Modern Everyday Gods is my idea, had it since 2000. It will be the title of one of my novels. It's going to work.
I'm getting back to normal. It's going to be tough. But I've got great friends.
