Indulgence

Getting Back to Normal

Jonathan Swift
We have just enough religion to make us hate but not enough to make us love one another.

Sometimes it's hard to believe in something good when you're down in the dumps and trying to get back on your feet. These days, every moment I get to have a chance to get into the clear some large heavy object lands on my head and knocks me for a loop and I wake up a day later and finding that things have just gotten worse.

I'm such a severe and extreme person, it would be great if I could just learn to relax and not think so much. I just wished people just gave me time to get back on my feet and I can have a chance to go back to normal.

I'm tired and truth is, quite angry but I refuse to be. That's where great friendships come in. Yesterday, I was having a really bad day and I called up my bestfriend and he was having a really bad day as well and so off we went to have dinner and I had 2 and a half beers (got a little drunk) but after 15 minutes of mouthing off my angst I was fine and in good spirits. He, on the other hand, was getting through some stuff and I was just glad to be there to help, to listen, to offer my support and whatever good energy I could give.

What I would not be able to do without the help of my friends. This, the worst year of my life, would have forced me to do the unthinkable, if it were not for the precious life-saving good energy of my friends. I'd hate to say it but this time round, family wasn't the people I could run to. Some of them were the problem, and the ones who could help were far away or had bigger problems of their own.

There's a time in your life when you have to grow up and just be on your own. I was there, I failed and ran back home. I'm thinking of doing it again but I have got to be smarter about this because when I leave, I don't ever want to run back. I want to be on my own, strong, secured, assured. Everything is there, I can see it. I just have to fix up this messed up life I've got right now. It's all paper work really.

Fight Club doesn't sound like such a bad idea after all. Ha Ha Ha

Sorry if I haven't been writing here often. I've been finding my multiply blog much easier and more convenient to write on. You can still check up my mundane thoughts there. On the other hand, my concept blog modern everyday gods is taking slower than I thought. I think it is a good concept and I like what I've written so far but the concept itself has become the problem. I have to find a parrallel story or myth to base my writing on. But I'm not letting go of it. I like it. Modern Everyday Gods is my idea, had it since 2000. It will be the title of one of my novels. It's going to work.

I'm getting back to normal. It's going to be tough. But I've got great friends.

posted by wanggo @ 1:25 PM