Indulgence

Everything is simple

Shakespear' Sister from Black Sky (Fahey/Detroit/Ferrera/Guiot)
No peace for the wicked
No rest for the good
No use in pretending
That love is in your blood

Decided to sleep at home rather than at my brother's. Decided to just be by myself. Ended up listening to a lot of angry songs. Listened to a lot of songs that made me feel completely what it was I was feeling -- down, used, abused and led on.

Listened to Dana Glover's You Almost Had It All, Danielle Brisebois' What If God Fell From the Sky and Welcome to Love, Now Go Home, Sheryl Crow's Missing and Anything But Down, Avril Lavigne's Happy Ending, Tori Amos' Tear In Your Hand, Marie Frank's Save A Little Love, Fiona Apple's Get Gone, Bjork's Five Years and so much more. I almost cried but didn't. I wanted to but I couldn't. Tried to force it out but it didn't come out. I don't know what's wrong.

I guess because deep inside, despite how my insides are all twisted and compressed by pain, I'm still feeling happy. Geez, I am so fucked up...

Even I don't understand what is going on inside and I just have to accept and I do. I move on. I'm doing something completely thoughtless later. Just killin' time `til it arrives. Like I was telling someone last night. I want to be crazy. I want to be foolish. I want to make mistakes and just say fuck it, so what?

I feel like there's just too much explanations, too many things going around; there's too much thinking going on. I just want to do what comes naturally. I just want to do what is in my head.

There's just too much going on. Like my friend Morx said, everything is simple. It's people who makes things complicated.

I don't want to be complicated anymore...

posted by wanggo @ 1:37 PM