Indulgence

everything falling to place

Rabindranath Tagore
Let me think that there is one among those stars that guides my life through the dark unknown.

After several days of running around like a chicken without a head, getting some actual sleep underneath the roof of the unit I'm paying for, sleeping in my clothes that I've designated for sleeping (and not the clothes I was wearing at work and sleeping in it because I am not sleeping at home), I took 2 to 3 hours off of running around to hang out with friends to help remind me of who it is I want to be, who it is that I am and why it is I'm working so hard for. It was a welcome break. Today, I woke up, with all prior commitments done from one office, I hurried off to the next in the midst of getting evicted and got stuff done there. All of a sudden, everything is falling into place and I can actually see the silver lining with all the clouds that seem to be forming in the sky.

Patience has always been the key, one of the most important virtues to have in this rat race of a world of ours and sadly, not one of the virtues I possess. I had a very good talk with my Dad and surprisingly, we found ourselves on the same boat. Exactly same sort of situations that we got ourselves into, can't get ourselves out of because we need to be in that situation and just working it and working it to get out, and not just get out but to get out as winners.

I wonder if everyone born in the year of the sheep/goat is suffering from the same dilemma. Has it been a promise of a good year and then everything has turned sour, and all the promises made to you were delayed but some strange, unnatural yet logical reason and you are on the wings just waiting and working hard without seeing the fruits of your labour blooming? And now, is everything clear, everything apparent and all you have to do is wait and you know you are going to be fine? Because that is how it is for me right now.

At least now, it is easier to smile, easier to breathe and things will fix itself in time and if I just keep working at it. At least life doesn't seem to be as futile as it did a month ago. Now, I can act like I've always been and be good company again.

To all who had to put up with me, thank you for putting up with me. I know I've been quite difficult these past few weeks. Everything has dropped from the sky and falling exactly into place, if not near where they are suppose to land and it just requires me to kick them a few feet into were they are suppose to be.

The first rain of May does heal past wounds. How silly of me to think that it had to be actual rain; figuratively, it did just fine for me. I can be too fatalistic sometimes.

posted by wanggo @ 9:13 PM