Indulgence

the end of the 4-day cigarette break

Thomas Szaz
When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.

I'm here in Bacolod and I've had a wonderful time. I'll be leaving for Manila in a few hours and my Bacolod visit is almost at its end. I had a wonderful time here and more importantly, I've been able to coalesce, pretty much and spend time with my family. I've been able to rest, catch up on my sleep, fix my body clock, eat well and see my family and get to spend time with them.

I had attended my cousin's wedding, which was beautiful. I spent a lovely time talking to my sister and my brother and my mom. I got to see my aunts and uncles and my cousins. We drank and ate and talked. We went to the farm and then to the beach. I got to play with my nephews and my niece.

And now, I have to leave this safe, little place that I found where everthing is just nice and quiet and peaceful. Here, I can think, and someone tells me what to do and where to go. Here, I was able to just get back together and not have to think so hard over anything. Here, I submitted my consciousness and found some sort of peace.

But it never lasts and things are going to go back to normal and I'm only using this moment to get better; to gain enough momentum and strength to go through my day-to-day again. I've been to a place where all is great and safe and restful but I know that it was so because I'm only here for a while. I don't think I could live here and truly be happy here because the world here is too slow, too safe, too peaceful. It's a great place to come back together but not a place for me to live out my life. I'm happy to be with my family; people I love but I still have to be in the open sky where I can spread my mighty wings and fly.

And so it's all over now. It's time to prepare and go back to the city, back to my life and the work that waits for me. It's time to get back to the real world. But I've got a head start again. I've got a second wind, some R&R, some time for myself. We need this moments, they're our weapons against the ravages of pressure and stress and disappointments. I welcome them every chance I get.

I'm ready again.

posted by wanggo @ 9:23 AM