Indulgence

Looking Back (as a means of going forward)

Seneca
For fame the opinion of one is not enough.

Hannah Arendt
... Although it is enough for friendship or for love.

I'm drunk. I had no idea it's already past 2 AM. Berna and I decided we wanted to eat out rather than just have food delivered or eat at the cafeteria of the network, like the usual day so we decided to finish all our work before we leave the office for some food.

I didn't realise that we left the office past 10pm and that when we arrived at Tia Maria's, it was already almost 11pm. We ordered food (very good too) and we had 2 pitchers of Margaritas joined by Binky. But pretty much, we had 1 whole pitcher to ourselves before Binky arrived. The mix was done well. I hardly tasted the Tequila, which I don't like and so I kept drinking it like Ice Tea. At one point, I recognised the feeling -- I was inebriated.

So yeah, I'm drunk and lo and behold! It's past 2am.

I've started to think about how much Berna has bloomed in the two years that I've known her. She's become my closest friend and that despite how we see each other almost everyday, we don't tire of each other. It's great.

I also ended up thinking of Bacolod; how I was there for my cousin's weddings and just goofing off and drinking every now and then or my marathon drinking sessions with my cousins when I go to the beach in Batangas -- rum coke in the morning, rum coke in the afternoon, rum coke before going to bed. I used to be a drinker but my tolerance has gone down considering I've been drinking almost everyday since October or something like that. My tolerance is totally gone. Well, at least it makes things cheaper for me! Ha Ha Ha

But it's just wonderful how this year is ending. It started pretty weird; caught up in work and it was my whole life and I was closing a chapter in my life (2004 was such a monumental year for me) and things began to get... what? Boring? Is that the word? It was as if the time for goofing off and fooling around was over. I mean, it doesn't end, but it doesn't become the landmark of everything. Now, it has to be balanced with the responsibilities of what else comes with life. It's growing up time and I'm glad that I may have had a lot of complaints but I'll be ending this year smarter, wiser, with experiences that I can bring with me throughout my whole life. Last year will become 2 years ago and everything that it entails will just become just another closed chapter in my life.

I'm moving on and as my horoscope (and numerology) says, things are going to start becoming better for me. All of a sudden, there was a point for the drinking and the losing of the head and all the spinning around in place and whining and bitching and complaining. All of a sudden, everything is good and you lose the feeling of regret; because if you didn't make those mistakes, would you be as wise as you are now?

As texted to me by my Dad
Of all the things I've lost, its my mind I miss the most.

No, you can't lose your head. You're probably just too scared to pick it up from where you dropped it. It's a tall order but you can do it. Face it. Deal with it. Head on. No turning back. Just keep going forward.

(picture with Berna taken in Palawan by Rica (or Pabsy?); June 2005)
(picture of the cousins during Aio's wedding taken by Yciar in November 2005, Bacolod)
(picture of me, in elevator taken by yours truly with the phone, November 2005)

posted by wanggo @ 2:28 AM