Indulgence

I Miss/I Don't Miss

Hippocrates
The difference between medicine and poison is the dose.

I miss acting. I miss going to zips class. I miss the beach. I miss the boat trip I took to look at the other little islands off Puerto Princesa in Palawan. I miss being able to write anywhere, in whatever condition. I miss wall-climbing. I miss eating scanacopitta. I miss my family in Bacolod. I miss watching a real scary movie; I think the last scary movie I saw was The Others or the remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacres. They don't make scary films like the way they used to. I miss Shanghai and Rome and Florence. I miss long airplane trips because when I land it will be a foreign land. I miss my corn rows. I miss my unit in Quadrillon which I called "The Ube Room." I miss my 40+ dance CDs and my Tom Jones Reload. I miss my TLC Fanmail, Soraya On Nights Like This, and Donna Lewis' Blue Planet. Whoever stole those CDs, I hope you get leprosy and die a horrible, lonely pained existence. I miss writing poetry -- the good stuff I used to write and not the weird, prosaic shit I'm writing now. For that matter, I miss writing fiction. Wish I had more time. I miss enjoying the rain. I miss movie marathon's at Jaypee's house with Berna and Anne and whoever else happens to pass by. I miss the workshop experience. I miss driving. I miss driving a whole lot. I miss going to the beach.

I don't miss being unemployed. I don't miss being not passionate over something. I don't miss going crazy over love. Well, actually, I don't mind but I don't want that right now. Ha Ha Ha I don't miss going out. I don't miss not believing in myself; I don't miss all the insecurities I used to have. It's great to be free of most of them. I don't miss any of my exes and I don't think I ever will. I don't miss living my life for others or for a particular person. I don't miss eating fish (I have it everyday for lunch and I'm getting a little sick of it). I don't miss fast food, either. I don't miss getting drunk and in truth, never really did enjoy it anyway. Drinking socially with friends to loosen up is a different thing, though. I don't miss watching television and I don't miss reading comics. I don't miss the gym (though I do miss my old body when I used to go to the gym everyday). I don't miss softdrinks nor do I not miss smoking menthol cigarettes.

Life really moves on. I could go on and on about the things I miss and the things I don't miss but that would probably change in a few months or weeks or so. It's just that life continues to move on whether we want it to or not.

I don't know why I'm saying this. I just am. I just feel like putting it here. I had nothing better to write anyway.

(picture taken with a webcam at some internet cafe in Malate around 2002, I think)

posted by wanggo @ 1:50 AM