Indulgence

the nature of my work

Went to watch a play yesterday before going to a meeting. It was a conceptual meeting; putting a project together. I realised that my work as a writer means that most of my work is focused at the start of the project. Often enough, the project doesn't start until I get my act together. Then later on, most of my work is done, I stay around just being available if any changes come up or any questions need answering. Which is great, for me, actually, because I just sit back and enjoy the process, watching as the thing unravels itself and fully forms.

I like that idea, for some strange reason. The pressure to meet the deadline or even finish before it is enough to make the work very challenging; but at the same time, the moment the thing is written, the bulk of my activities is done, I can watch everything else happen and I'm still definitely part of the project. That's my work they're doing, after all. But the need for me to fix things is done; my need to get involved and get my hands dirty disappears and usually, that's where I get in trouble. I cannot leave well enough alone, sometimes. And I have a difficulty delegating work, trusting others to have the same amount of passion and dedication to the project as I have. But at this point in time, it's no longer my show. I guess that is what I like about this set up. It would now be at the director's hands. I sit back and just watch things unfold. At the same time, I can slowly begin working on the next project.

I'm getting really excited about things. Right now, I'm just surrounded by all these ideas and finding the time to write it all down and people are actually interested in them. For the first time, my favourite past time of just listening to music and thinking of possibilities, of stories, is actually in demand. People want me to do that. Can you see the big smile on my face? It's getting bigger.

(picture taken by Jay Abello sometime around September, I think, of 2003)

posted by wanggo @ 3:56 PM