Indulgence

in gratitude

Gustave Flaubert
Be regular and orderly in your life so that you may be violent and original in your work.

I have been looking at the blogs of others and listening to people talk about the shifting of the years and notice how many either (1) talk about their new year's resolutions or (2) look back at 2005 and count their blessings. I think, at one point, I've already done that in Boracay. When you're alone, you have no choice but to constantly think of yourself and the things you have to change and the things that you are thankful for.

I was sitting in the beach front of Hey Jude! with Tesa, Carlos, Jun and a couple more of their friends as we watched the last sunset of 2005 and drinking strawberry daquiris and watching the people enjoy the cold water of the sea and the soft sand and I couldn't help think that everything, not just 2005 but ever since I began making decisions for myself when I was 14 or 15, somehow led me to that moment. I would eventually find myself in a beautiful place to spend the turning of the years with great people, drinking and enjoying the fact that I had a sincere, big smile on my face.

What do I have to be thankful for? The fact that I'm alive on these terms: a great family who understands and accepts me, finding people who understands and accepts me, having a skill that is creative and artistic and that really separates me from everybody else, having a skill that enforces my individuality (something that is very important to me) and that my life, pretty much, is in my control.

I've never really made new year's resolutions because I don't believe in it. If something is wrong, change it and fix it the moment you discover it. I guess January 1 is a great time to find and evaluate your life and help you find these things that you've been doing wrong. It's a special time in every year where you can actually reflect on these things. But I've always been self-reflective; I think it has a lot to do with me being self-centered and self-absorbed. So don't expect any great realisations. 2005 was a tough a year. There's no question about that. There was a lot of routinary behaviour and a lot of whining and complaining. There were many realisations regarding what life should be like and what life should be about. I've met many people and had my share of experiences. It's now time to apply it all.

There have been things set in motion by myself and by others (though they never realised it) and I gave myself a deadline, pretty much and now things have to be done and they will be done and I'm going to have to be ready. It's definitely time. There's no time like the start of the year to put a plan in motion.

(first picture is the last sunset of 2005 taken with my phone on the beach front of Hey Jude!)
(second picture is the first sunset of 2006 taken with my phone at Willy's Rock)

posted by wanggo @ 4:45 PM