Indulgence

musings 02.01.06

Nicole Kidman (quoted from IMDB)
I think it is important that we don't all have to hold our heads high all the time saying everything's fine.

It's funny how easily I find it to just open up everything about me -- the good, the bad, the embarrassing and the glorious. Every achievement, every sorrow, every doubt, every proud moment is but another story that I tell. I can just easily tell my most horrible experience to a new friend as if it was just telling them what I did that whole day. I live my life like an open book.

Case in point: I update this blog almost daily, meticulously, sharing every inch of my emotions without fear. I only hold back so much to protect the names of people whose lives may be affected. I may live my life like an open book, but not everybody lives that way. I respect their need for anonymity. I respect other's need for privacy. Me? I don't feel like having any. Not that I'd take a Filipino celebrity's life if offered, no way, that's no way to live my life. There is a difference when people feel they have the right to know what's going on with me and when I give it willingly. I don't want people hounding me around and finding out things about me or telling things I say to them so openly. If anything, I want to do the telling and dictate when what story is told. Is that clear?

Yeah, so I have no real secrets to keep. It's how I decided to live my life and it makes me happy. It keeps my life simple. I have nothing to hide and everything is for the telling. It is something that doesn't bother me. It is strange, for me, to think that I still manage to mystify others -- I have been, on occasion, been called mysterious. Is it because I am so out in the open, and by choice, that I am mysterious? It is something quite unexpected, I guess, which makes it more enigmatic. Maybe people can't believe that one wants to keep no secrets that they feel there are more things hidden underneath? I don't know. I'm not going to try to solve it.

I am having this new obsession -- constantly checking out IMDB (Internet Movie Data Base) and reading up the life story of my favourite celebrities, reading their little trivia and reading/collecting their quotable quotes from their more memorable interviews that can be found there. I've already collected a few from Anna Paquin, Nicole Kidman, Natalie Portman, Cate Blanchett, Ian McKellen, Julianne Moore, Sandra Bullock and Christian Bale. I couldn't get an interesting one from Famke Janssen and Frances McDormand or Maggie Smith. I'll be going through more and finding more stuff I can use. In fact, I've already used one, from Nicole Kidman on this entry. It's my little thrill right now.

One day, I hope to have my own entry on IMDB and that it will mark me as a screenwriter of some note, on a global scale, of course. Maybe I might even have some directorial credits there as well as I have yet to decide whether I want to direct or not.

My pocket is full of coins. It hangs heavy and pulls my jeans down. Thank God I've got a pretty good belt.

I don't miss getting drunk at all, I don't miss going out and people ask me if I'm going out this weekend and I really can't answer because I don't feel like it. There is no particular need to go dancing. But I decided to put a photo of a night out with friends from the office here. This was last January 13, with Fay, Binky, Lyra, Rica and Berna. We just went out to have fun, say good bye to Berna and generally not be in the office on a Friday. We were drinking Zombies like water and generally having a good time.

I just ate at Chow King for a sort of interim meal in-between writing. I like their Fried Chicken lauriat but for a fast food restaurant, it isn't that fast. At least it isn't pre-cooked. I forget that at this hour, they start cooking things as ordered. I love their prawn crackers too.

Oh yeah, and I really love that shirt I'm wearing at the picture. It was a Christmas gift to me from my cousin Yciar. She has a great sense of style and the shirt really makes me look good (at least it makes me feel good, so I can carry it better).

Just little musings at 4:44 am. He He He

posted by wanggo @ 4:17 AM