Indulgence

China Dreams

Bette Midler/Nina Simone from I Think It's Going to Rain Today (written by Randy Newman)
Human kindness is over-flowing
And I think it's going to rain today

My thoughts have been off to China for some reason, I don't know why. Lately, my most prevalent fantasy that I live in my daydreams involve my going to Shanghai or Beijing, getting a job teaching English and then learning Mandarin from them in return. Eventually, I end up taking my Masters there -- something in the Theatre or maybe Film, but I'm hoping more on Theatre. After spending 2 to 3 years there, where eventually, doing freelance jobs, hopefully, I end up getting connected enough to either produce an original play (written and directed) or write (and co-direct or co-produce) a television special involving Chinese-Filipino relations or culture using theatrical techniques with film and it's spectacular. It is a big hit and I come back to the Philippines as a very promising talent, ready to wow everyone here.

Maybe, in a developing city like Shanghai, I might even meet some interesting foreigner who I'll fall in love with and who'll fall in love with me. Two strangers, from different countries, both aliens in a gorgeous city filled with history and a promise of a great future. Now isn't that romantic?

I wouldn't stay longer than 3 years, though. I'd be terribly homesick after the first year or so, but hopefully, I'd be so deep into my Masters that to go back home would just ruin everything. Maybe a year or 2 will be spent re-acquainting myself back home and re-learning everything. Maybe I can fill my spare time making indie films and do other stuff as well -- write more literary things and just strengthen my growing resume and experience.

Then I'll be off to India next and then after a year of that, I'll try for a European country. England or France or Italy. Maybe visit Spain to figure out more about my roots.

Yeah, this is all my fantasy, in my head. I play these little games, go through the day-to-day of these scenarios. I don't know exactly if it is a good or a bad thing but in a way, it's like a plan; it's toughening up my soul and hopefully, one day, I'd just get on a plane and go for broke and hope to God that everything goes well -- maybe not the way I was thinking (because suprises are wonderful). As long as I learn things, becoming a better person and see the world and be a part of it -- then I'd be happy.

Maybe it's not a daydream but a plan. It would be just like me to make my plans in the forms of stories. I'm so screwed up that way!

posted by wanggo @ 8:21 AM