Indulgence

Consumer Therapy

from The Elephant Vanishes by Haruki Murakami (translated by Jay Rubin)
A kitchen probably does need a few things more than it needs unity. But those other elements are things you can't sell. And in this pragmatic world of ours, things you can't sell don't count for much.

Payday finally came and while I start slowly to pay off little debts that have been accummulated; I think of the CDs I'm going to buy and the much-needed haircut that has been waiting for me. This is really a material world, after everything is said and done. I really admire people who follow Buddhism and who can say fuck it to all the material things in the world. A simple life is a lot harder than you think. It takes a lot of re-programming and it takes a lot to just let go of the things that makes this world a little more bareable. (I think I spelled that word wrong, argh!)

A new CD makes life easier for me. If I could just hole up in my room for 40 minutes or 1 hour and just listen to good music, I can just slowly let go of all my frustrations. I get lost in a sort of fantasy-world that I create in my head; or some times, I don't even think at all. I just sing along to the music and just forget there is a world outside that of my room and the music. Completely relaxing, music and it's just an amazing medium.

I like buying clothes. There's an exhiliration of finding a really good shirt or a great pair of jeans in some bargain market. If you can find a really cool pair of pants or a great shirt that fits just right in the department store or a discount store or a thrift shop, my God! That's just a little piece of heaven right there. Buying a shirt that looks great on you and paying 1/4 the cost if you were to buy it at some original brand named store is really an amazing feeling. To know that you don't have to spend much to get quality stuff is pure joy.

Eating is also a marvel. Once in a while, I would spend a little over double my usual budget for food on one meal because it is good to spoil yourself (and your palate) every now and then. Food is a metaphor for life. If you know how to indulge yourself every once in a while, it shows you know how to indulge yourself in life every once in a while. And it is also great to find a great new restaurant or to try some new kind of cuisine. Like, how often does one eat in a Persian restaurant? Or, try out a restaurant like Ziggurat in Makati where they serve Middle Eastern, North African and Meditterenean delights. Exploring different tastes give you a sense of innocence, can bring you to a sort of return to youth where everything is fun and new. And there is just so much joy in the act of eating and eating well.

Books are great, though I've always found myself hesitant in buying a new book in fear that I'd be severely disappointed. I'd rather buy a book that comes highly recommended or borrow it first and if I enjoy it, then buy my own copy. It is horrible to buy a book that you can't/don't enjoy. It just sits there, slowly turning yellow and just wastes away. But when you do buy a book, out of a whim and you find that it tickles you at the right spot and moves you in ways you don't understand, then it's like finding some buried treasure and you feel so rich. Now, that's a gamble worth trying out once in a while.

Yeah, it's consumer therapy. Buying little bits of happiness just to get by the stressful day-to-day that can wear you down to half your size. But hey! What's the point of accummulating so much wealth if you ain't going to make your life better? Most of my money goes to sustaining my existence and place in this world anyway, what ever is left over should be able to make existing worthwhile, right? It's not as if I've got a family to take care of at the moment, right? And so if I decide to spend my money on myself, that's my perogative.

posted by wanggo @ 5:09 PM