Indulgence

overwhelmed

Vienna Teng from Momentum
Would you let me do this
Burn down the final wall

Overcome me baby
Overcome me baby
Overcome me baby
Overcome me yeah
All I'm asking is to be alive for once

I am getting over-whelmed, once again, with the amount of work that needs to be done. It never ends, this waterfall of work. People have been doing this all their lives. People have been graduating and getting jobs and working and working without complaints. Or they do but they continue anyway. I feel like I'm about to fade away.

I always took the easy route. I would just quit and move along and try again somewhere else. I don't have the experience of really sticking to something long term. The only thing I can think of was school but then again, school was never this tough. My parents were more focused on what I was learning rather than what grade I brought home at the end of the term/semester/quarter. I was never the best of students and my parents never really cared. What they cared about was that I was learning something and that a lot of my education came from home with deep discussions about art, life and whatever else seems to be fluttering around the dinning room conversation. I'd like to think I'm properly educated even if my grades don't seem to reflect that properly.

And so, here I am, itching to leave as it gets tougher and tougher. It never ceases. But I don't want to leave. I want to prove to myself and to everyone that I got what it takes. I'm not one of those flighty wanna-be artists who run from anything stable or difficult. I don't want to be that way.

And I've always said that anything worth having requires effort. Anything that is worth it is tough. I don't want to buckle.

Post Script
What the hell is wrong with all the fucking ATM machines in this country?!?! Most of the time, them fucking metal boxes have no cash to dispense, or worse, are off-line! Is that what they call banking convenience? It's stupid! There was one night, I went to three Metrobank ATMs, 1 Malayan Bank ATM and 1 ATM (I can't remember which one, I think it was UCPB) and they were all off-line! Each one!

If you were going to tell me it's "almost convenient" banking or "sometimes 24-hours banking" then fine. But don't tell me its convenient because the times I need the cash, you aren't at all helpful... Ugh!

posted by wanggo @ 9:04 PM