Indulgence

happy but never content

Olive from Outlaw
Couldn't you have told me before
I would've loved you and so much more
Couldn't you have told me before
Feelin' like an outlaw

I leave in a few hours for Boracay and last night's Planetzips meeting ended with Cat saying that pairs of fire zips were available for sale; so I instantly bought a pair and am happily, extremely excited to bring it with me to Boracay. I HAVE MY OWN FIRE SETS!!! We dipped them in kerosene and spun them out and it's to my extreme joy to know that the set I'm spinning is my own! Yeah, baby! This is the reason why I wanted to learn how to zip in the first place, to be able to dance with fire. Of course, I've fallen in love with the ribbons as well. There are movements that I'm extremely comfortable doing with my zips but then, I can't do the chainsaw with my zips. I am extremely happy to be a part of Planetzips. Unbelievably happy. I found great people whom I love and love hanging out with, who understand me and I found something that I enjoy doing and that I can actually get paid for. Wanggo is very happy.

So later, I leave for Boracay. This has been a most fulfilling summer. Opportunities arrived when they were needed. I needed cash and zipping gigs came. I needed to get out, offers to go to the beach came -- some all expenses paid, it's my company they wanted so badly that they were willing to pay for my way. Astrology Zone was right, actually, the last 3 years were hard and painful and that starting this year, everything would come easier. It's my time to actually start sailing. Every month since I started reading Astrology Zone, the predictions have been right on the dot. I don't know if that scares me or what but all I know is that there is a Boracay sunset out there, waiting for me and my new pair of fire zips.

I had coffee with my friend Adrian and I had said that I'm not the kind of person who could be content; I could be happy but not content. The moment I get something I want, I find something new and start trying to achieve that immediately. I could never be settled with what I got, I got to have more. So while I can be happy, I cannot be content. I still stand by that. I'm extremely happy now, with things going my way and a beautiful clear horizon in the distance. Am on my sail boat, letting down the sails and catching wind. It's going to be a beautiful last hurrah on the beach before I get down and dirty. I've got the new CD of Skin and Fiona Apple, I've got a pair of fire zips, am reading Kazuo Ishiguro's new book Never Let You Go and enjoying it's rich and distinct prose (thanks Morx) and I'm darker than coal from the beach and I've got a job to return to next week.

What I hope to learn from this is the belief in the rewards of hard work, patience and gratitude. I don't ever want to take any of this for granted. I want to remember that I worked my ass off since I was 14 to get to do everything I wanted to do when I grew up and that I cannot rush things, you've got to let everything take its natural course through time.

(Mauban sunset, taken by Jay during Holy Week, 2006)

posted by wanggo @ 7:34 AM