Indulgence

Nothing is Wasted

as texted to me by my Dad
We are here to be creators. We are here to infiltrate space with ideas and mentions of thought. We are here to make something of this life.

I recently bought Skin's new album Fake Chemical State and I love it. Especially songs like Purple which totally gets to me. Her voice is still so powerful, so intense, so evocative. Forget Alanis or Avril, Skin is truly the poster girl for the intelligent angry woman. Jay bought me, from Hong Kong, Fiona Apple's Extraordinary Machine dual-disc and I love it! Unfortunately, I still really do love the released versions, whether or not it was the way Fiona Apple or Jon Brion wanted it to sound, it had more power and intensity. Sad to say, as well, because I really like Mike Elizondo. I was sold to his producing skills from his Nelly Furtado track The Grass is Green which is a fantastic song. But somehow, the pre-released versions of Extraordinary Machine is messy, chaotic and absolutely fantastic. And somehow, Fiona Apple's vocals in those unofficial sessions were more evocative, more intense; which is how I like her. But, of course, I had to buy the album in support of one of our most intriguing and talented songwriters and singers of my generation (my opinion). I want her career to fly because I think she should be appreciated for her amazing ability to convey emotion through song -- whether it is a cover or original material. Now that she has released 3 albums, I can safely say that she is one of my favourite artists of all time -- up there with Kate Bush, Sarah McLachlan, Bjork and Tori Amos. I felt that 2 albums would be judging her too quickly but 3 albums is enough to convince me that she really got the goods.

Tomorrow, I leave again for the beach. Boracay is the destination this time. I'll be with Jay and Morx and a lot of other friends from my college days and some new ones that Morx and Jay have met along the way. It's going to be fun. We're going to have exchanges like this

Morx: Wala bang defence against sand mites? (Is there any defence against sand mites)
Wanggo: Off lotion?
Jay: Para sa mosquitoes lang yan. (That's just for mosquitoes)
Wanggo: Well, walang sand mites sa Boracay. (There are no sand mites in Boracay)
Morx: Meron. Nakagat na ako dati. (There are. I got bitten before)
Jay: Wala yan! (There are none!)
Wanggo: I don't know... I never got bitten. Even when we
were in Cagbalete, I wasn't bitten. And I didn't even put anything.
Morx: Kasi, akala nga nila putik ka! (That's because you look like mud.)
(general laughter ensues)
(in reference to my extremely dark skin from over-tanning)

Friends who are intelligent, witty, clever and unafraid of you. There is trust there that no egos will be bruised, that everything is in the sake of truth but general merriment. I like that idea that I can just unload and if I deserve it, I'll get trashed for it or what I say can be agreed upon.
It's just nice to be in their company again.

And then I'm off to start a new job. Yup, that's right, I got an offer I can't refuse. It's creative, in nature, and it'll probably work my ass off like anything but right now, the money is just too good to pass up. Yes, I know I said I wanted to enjoy my freedom and everything but here's a chance for me to make a shitload of money, man! Yeah, I'm after the money this time and I'm going to give them everything I have and make this work out for as long as I can muster. I'm taking things one step at a time. Slowly but surely. Like I told someone recently, I can just keep on giving and I'll never run out and I feel that the statement is true. And if I do run out, I can go knowing that I gave everything I had to the company and that what they paid me for was worth it. I'll be exchanging a lot of my freedom for security but this kind of security will last me for a very long time. This time, I'm using my head.

All of these are stories, our lives are stories that we are continually writing. I'm just taking the long route to the happy ending. Nothing is wasted because everything can be used later on as a story for a book or a movie, anyway. Nothing is wasted.

And I'm happy. I'm not having second thoughts or anything like that about this whole deal. When it came, I was just the happiest person in the world and I had no sinking feeling in my gut. I'm going to go with my instincts on this one. So one last hurrah -- Boracay with Jay and Morx and then back into the fold. I am having a great year where everything is really going my way. I'm going to be hard-pressed to find something to complain about in future entries.

(all pictures taken by Jay in Cagbalete, Quezon sometime around Holy Week, 2006)

posted by wanggo @ 12:53 PM