Indulgence

Wanggo in Wonderland

Skin from Movin'
And when I find my place
I'll make this stupid feeling last forever
When I find my way
Nothing left in this sick world will matter

Been having very vivid dreams lately. Usually, I can help people figure out what their dreams mean. My Dad told me something about a pyschological method of reading into dreams -- everyone in the dream is you, being represented as someone else, to show the different sides of you. You have to keep asking yourself questions until you discover what it is your dream is trying to tell you. After all, dreams are really messages from your subconscious, telling you things. I never could explain my own dreams, though. Never had that skill. I could read the Tarot for others yet never could for myself. I could give pretty good advice to friends and even strangers, but I could never give advice to myself. Weird, huh?

But these dreams have been very vivid, lately. I remember 2 involved people from High School, people I haven't met in a long time. One was vividly sexual, graphic and shameless. Another involved heavily into fantasy; the game that my brother Datu and I play once a week or so. People I haven't thought about in a long while keep popping up in my dreams and I would wake up to only want to go back to sleep again because I know that the dream, every little detail holds some important meaning -- my subconscious telling me the secrets to my own happiness.

It's a little unnerving, actually. But truth is, I'm quite happy, because in all the dreams, I've been very much myself -- extroverted, uninhibited and unafraid. Sometimes, when I realise that I'm dreaming, I become frightened, rather than courageous. I am afraid of the chaotic nature of dreams. But these past dreams, I've been very confident and holding true to myself despite the strangeness that surrounds me in them. I force myself to stay the same, to not bow down to the oddness.

It's like I fell into Wonderland and instead of asking questions, I am posing declarations and answering inquiries. There are no question marks on me. Just periods and a wry grin.

(picture taken by Morx with his P900 Sony Ericsson phone in JayC's bathroom sometime December 2003)

posted by wanggo @ 4:14 PM