Indulgence

liberation

Hole from Awful (written by Courtney Love, Eric Erlandson, Melissa Auf de Maur and Patty Schemel)
If the world is so wrong
You can take it all with just one song

I was in a curious mood last night. Very curious. I was a little off during zips class but I'm guessing it was because it was a very long day. I got very little sleep and then woke up early to help out my Dad, setting up a little workshop session with 2 big stars who wanted his help to let them be more comfortable for each other since they are going to be lovers in a movie they are shooting. But I couldn't help out for the whole session, had to leave for Manila for a meeting with a client. After that, I went to Glorietta to watch the Metro and Metro Him fashion show at Rustan's. I saw Cat there and we had dinner where I had the most enjoyable time with the extreme added bonus of seeing Michelle and Pam Pascual. I love Michelle and I miss that girl horribly and horrendously. We hugged and kissed and really caught up for lost time. Afterwards, I went to zips class and then to Jay's house where I watched the first disc of Will and Grace season 1.

I had a crazy inclination last night. I don't know if it were brought about taking swigs from the bottle of wine that Tals brought or if it came from the admission to Amanda that I've decided to start making a turn-around. I told her, I'm not down anymore and she was so happy she gave me a hug. Or maybe it has something to do with spending a lovely time at the fashion show with Cat, talking about the stuff we did (sorry, cannot disclose). Maybe it had something to do with the elation that things are going to be better and that I was just so filled with emotion and weightlessness that I decided to just do stupid things.

Started texting and saying the most outrageous things. Jay told me not to do it since he knows me. He said I'll enjoy it now but will regret it the next day. I told him I didn't care and I wanted to do it. And I did and I got no response from people. Well, from some but not all. The ones who responded were also the real texts, not the outrageous ones. Jay started laughing at me, of course no one is going to reply, it's 1 am! Well, he has a point. But I liked that feeling of not caring, of not giving a damn and doing what I liked. For that one moment, I had no dignity nor did I have any fear of the repercussions and it's very liberating. I felt so free that moment.

The next day I began texting, trying to see if I offended anyone or what. I apologized and then went on with the day.

There is just something so free-ing about having one moment where I can consciously just do as I feel. I'm just so thankful for that moment and for the moment I had to be able to fix up any ruffled feathers. I know that I shouldn't think I'll always get away with it nor do I intend to do something like that again. It was just nice to be able to have that moment at this point of time. It allowed me to let my hair down and take a breath of relief.

Things aren't all that bad after all.

posted by wanggo @ 12:35 PM