Indulgence

Fighting Form

Bette Midler
I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing.

I'm sorta amazed at myself. Cleaning up a lot of lose ends here before I leave; after all, I don't want to be in the land down under and be thinking about running to an internet cafe to fix up stuff back home. I want my mind all there on the job and on the experience. I want to be like a machine when I'm there -- just thinking about the show and then, when free time is available, relish in the experience.

I got a call from the dynamic duo that is closely attached to my film writing career. Wonderful people that they are, they tell me that I've got to come up with something new, in relation to what some people want or expecting from an older pitch that we did. They called sometime last week, like around Friday. Then I told them I was leaving on Tuesday for Australia. They were happy for me but also shocked. I told them not to worry; I'll give them something to work with before I left.

All weekend, my mind was working on overdrive and then it hit me and in one day, I come up with something I'm extremely proud of. My mind is back to its fighting form. I'm really out of my slump now. I've noticed how I'm more aware again of how people feel. My empathy is back up to optimal levels and I'm beginning to feel what others are feeling again. My sensitivity is back on track now. It's not all me-me-me like it was when I was depressed.

My creative juices are flowing... no, my creative juices are flooding. Things are appearing to be better again and I'm just so glad that everything is working out. I'm excited about living again and I'm just happy that things are falling into place. No more of those insurmountable odds, those hurdles that were just way too high to jump over. Now, I'm push a little, I get pushed back a little. Not like it was in April to June where I was pushing and pushing and throwing my whole weight at it and it just wouldn't budge. Now it seems like things are fair, things can happen; what I do matters or can matter.

And I love it that my creativity is back. I'm ready. Australia, here I come!

posted by wanggo @ 12:10 PM