Indulgence

A Family Tree

as texted to me by my Dad
God save us from the people who think they're doing the will of God.

My mom is here for a while. She arrived this morning and then she's staying for a while. She'll be gone before I get back and so we sorta spent as much time as we could. Heard a lot of news about my family in the States and my family in Bacolod. It's good to know what's going on in the family. I must admit; I'm not the most filial of people. In my family, nothing goes before the family. It's a very strict code and I respect that. After all, my family are the only ones I can really trust. They have proven it time and time again that no matter how they regard me, especially since there are times that it has been very low, they will stand by me and support me and be there for me. They always have my back covered.

I would like to think that Jay and the gang, the Planetzips crew, Michelle Pascual, Lance and DC, Cholo and Tesa and the rest are my family too and that I could always fall back on them if needs be -- truth of the matter is, I'd never ask that from them. My pride is too big to be a burden to the people I care about. My family, on the other hand, won't wait for me to ask, they'll just help, whether I like it or not and that's a little irritating, a bit frustrating but, on the whole, extremely comforting.

But my extreme inability to commit to anything and this negative need for freedom finds me running away from the ties that bind; because I fear, I am guessing, that by allowing them that closeness, would take away from my freedom.

I can be so stupid, huh?

But my family is always there for me. And it gets bigger and bigger as the seasons turn, as the months pass, as the years stretch. There is always more and more coming our way. It's nice and comforting to know that I'm in a family that cares and that will be there, even if I can't handle it.

They'll handle it for me.

Of course, I've said it often, I'll miss my friends and my crew when I go to the land down under. But deep inside, and though I've never said it, I'm going to miss my family too and I feel sad I can't share it with them.

posted by wanggo @ 1:40 AM